Ramblings About My Life..

Ramblings #1

Do you ever get the feeling sometimes that life just can't be any worse? The way you greet each day dreading the onslaught of problems that are bound to be winging themselves towards you, or perhaps that seemingly magnetic attraction you possess towards people and things that have to go against your plans or even just the sick feeling in your gut when you screw things up and now you have to extricate yourself from the very mess you created. At times like this, you'd probably wish you had a 12-gauge shotgun and blow each and every problem in your life to a bazillion tiny bits. Alas, if only life was this simple - and if gun licences were easier to obtain. I'm just kidding. Really. Frankly speaking, everyone has had their fair share of stormy periods in life. What differs in each and every individual is the way in which they handle their problems. Some do it elegantly, smoothing over errors and troubles like with the ease of one smoothing over a creased bedspread. Others just stumble over theirs, causing more distress to themselves and probably making it worse in the process. Some like to handle it with help from friends, whereas others prefer to rough it out alone. As just another ordinary individual in the vastness of the populace of Earth, I too, have had my fair share of troubles to deal with. Although I would like to say otherwise, I have not dealt with all my problems in the most elegant of ways, dealing with some in the wrong way and perhaps making matters much worse than before. And, as someone wise once told me, the way an individual solves his problems shows what kind of individual he really is. Which is true, considering that you don't see a person's true self until things start going wrong since anybody can afford to be affable and polite when things are going right.

I will never claim to be a perfect person. I know this for a fact. Truth be told, I have many negative aspects to myself, facets to my personality that make me a less better person than I want to be. However, can the conclusion be drawn from my statement that it is perhaps the fault of my parents, who failed to inculcate in me all the moral values needed to make me a perfect individual? Or should the society and environment around me be blamed for exerting all the necessary influences on me to make me adopt negative values? The answer to those questions - no one is to be blamed except myself. My childhood was such that my parents taught me the importance of having all the important moral values in myself so that I would grow into a mould of what could be defined as a "good" individual and they encouraged me to instill those values in myself in every opportunity of my life. The environment and culture around me, while not exactly the most moral-friendly, was good enough so that the influence of negative values on myself was kept to a minimum. So, why then, am I still not perfect? To give a better answer to this question, we'll have to take a scenario as an example in order to convey the message. Let's imagine that you're wearing a pair of white shoes. When you first get them, the shoes are obviously clean and sparkly-white, unless you got cheated in the shoe shop. Then, when you're walking back home, you're greeted with two paths. One is a muddy road, whereas another is a clean path for you to walk on. If you choose to walk on the muddy road, then naturally, your shoes will get soiled. If you should choose to walk on the clean path instead, then the cleanliness of your shoes will be maintained. Obviously. But imagine, what if you didn't have a choice, and that the only path was a muddy path? Furthermore, sometimes people trod on your shoes too, and you can't really do anything to prevent that. After a while, your shoes, once white and clean, would be soiled.

What exactly are you trying to say? you might ask. The scenario described above portrays the shoes as our selves, and the cleanliness of the shoes our morality - the cleaner they are, the more untainted our moral values. Your morality is dictated by the choices you make in life. However, it seems that the end product is still the same - negative values still take root in oneself. I won't profess to be an expert on life, but from what I know, things in life isn't as clear cut between good and bad. The boundary between the black and white in life can be blurred, giving rise to a grey area that we sometimes have to trod. So, every individual that walks on this face of the Earth is not perfect. As am I. However, is it the perogative of every individual to act in a negative manner just because it is inevitable for imperfection to be present in a person? No. The choice as to how one acts lie within oneself, as opposed to being dictated by the values present in the individual's personality. The values merely influence the way the person acts. They do not decide how he or she acts. Period. Therefore, the negative aspects of myself are purely of my own fault. I chose to act like that. And for all my shortcomings which may have offended anyone (especially my friends) - I sincerely apologize. I know I have not been the greatest person to be a friend to, being someone who's impatient, hot-tempered, blunt in words and a slob, the many arguments I've had with them being testament to what I've said above, but I really appreciate having them as my friends and I couldn't wish on having better friends than those that I have right now.

Not too long ago, Dad gave me some very good advice on how to become a better person -

• You wear pants for a reason - to be a gentleman. Apologize for offending other people even if it isn't exactly your fault. Right and wrong can be relative to an individual, so why not save time and quit blaming each other and forgive and forget instead.
• Don't burn bridges - build them instead. Be polite to anyone and everyone whenever possible. People will remember you for treating them with respect.
• Forgive and forget. Even if others have wronged you, you should forgive them instead of blaming them. You will find that people will find you a maganimous person and that they too, will find it much easier to forgive you compared to you heaping blame on them everytime they make a mistake.
• Don't discriminate. As you should never judge a book by it's cover, you should never judge someone based on his or her religion, race or social status. Instead, judge someone based on his character and actions. Respect each and every individual and be fair in all matters.
• Don't base your happiness on materials. What matters in life is the person you are and the people surrounding you. You live on money and material, not for. How much can you eat and how many cars can you drive? Earn enough to support yourself and your family, and live life based on your family's happiness.
• You don't need a reason to help people. There should be nothing in you that expects returns when you help people. You should help people because it is your duty as a person to do so.
• Never focus on the negative aspects of a person. Everyone has his or her faults, and if you focus only on a person's fault, you'll never find anyone likeable in life. Focus instead on the positive aspects of a person and like him or her for that, and you'll find that the people around you are great people indeed, making you treasure your friends and family even more than ever.

As of today, I'll do my best to become a better person. While I know that realistically, it is practically impossible to change myself within a day, I'll do my best nevertheless, and keep at it always. For the sake of my family, my friends, and last but not least, myself. I know it's a little late, but I guess I finally found my resolution for this year (in addition to doing well for the exams). That's all I'll be writing this time, I'll see you around. Ciao!

posted by yong chen @ 10:57 AM